Opinions?

8/12/16

Hey guys welcome back. So today, as promised, I will be sharing a little snippet of the story I have started writing. Be sure to let me know what you think and if I should continue.


I was never one to believe in magic. No trick was ever exciting to me. Even when I was little. But one day, all of that changed. Something happened. Something I will never forget.

Everything was normal. Always normal. I’m 16, I go to an ordinary school in an ordinary town, my parents are lawyers, I’ve got a sister and 2 brothers, a dog, nice house, nothing was different about me.

I was having a normal day, same as usual. Sitting in last period, my history teacher droning on about completely off topic things. This is how it always is. My teacher will talk about history for roughly 10 minutes and then the rest of the period is having a discussion about something that reminded her of something else. The bell rang, I packed my bag and headed out of the building to my car.

I’m the oldest of my friends so I was the first to get my license and I now have to drive them all home. After 15 minutes of waiting, I get a text from Valerie, my best friend, saying to leave without them. They have projects to work on.

“Cool” I say to myself, “I can go right home then.”

Going home doesn’t take long. I live two minutes from the school and walk everyday it’s warm enough. So it’s no surprise that I get there before anyone else. My parents work late on Friday and my brothers have soccer practice, so its just me until my sister gets home.

Dropping my bag t the door I head to the living room, toss myself on the couch, and turn on the TV. Fifteen minutes pass and my sister still isn’t home. I call her and get no answer. Oh well, she’s probably with a friend.

I walk to the kitchen and find my dag, Benson, lying on the floor, wagging his tail. All of a sudden, he jumps up, barks at me, and runs to the back door. I assume he has to go outside so I open the door for him. But he turns back, barks again, and walks another foot.

He wants me to follow him. He does this sometimes, and I never pay much attention. I would follow him for a bit, get bored, and go home. But today, I decide to let him take me wherever it is he wants to go so badly.

I walk with Benson to the edge of our property and into the small patch of woods that surrounds it. We walk for what feels like hours, bare trees all around and leaves crunching beneath our feet, and I’m shocked we’re not out of the woods yet. In the distance, I see something I’ve never noticed before. It looks like a shed. Its in perfect condition, like its new, and the door is open. Benson leads me right to it.

I’ll admit, this whole thing is super sketchy. I mean c’mon, a shed in the middle of the woods? That’s a recipe for disaster, Part of me wanted to run back to the house, but I was curious. We walk in and there is nothing there except a picture of a single rose and a small sign that reads, “Stare at the picture for to seconds”

Holding Benson’s collar for security I do as the sign says. “What are you doing?” I think, “this is ridiculous.” But when I turn around, we aren’t in the woods anymore.


Thanks for reading and have a great rest of your day or night.

See ya soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Dani

(^^)/

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5 thoughts on “Opinions?

  1. zoe2600 08/01/15 / 10:24p08

    Sound really good, try not telling facts straight up, like
    ‘I’m 16, I go to an ordinary school in an ordinary town, my parents are lawyers, I’ve got a sister and 2 brothers, a dog, nice house, nothing was different about me’
    Describe it, rather than telling it, work out a way to say how ordinary you are without literally saying it

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Em is Lost 08/01/15 / 10:24p08

    I think it sounds really good (although you left it on a cliffhanger and now I can’t wait to read what happens next)!

    Liked by 1 person

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