Hey guys, welcome back. Today has been kinda rocky. I was okay until this afternoon when something happened (I won’t go into detail because, you know, privacy) that changed my mood. As a result, I’ve spent my entire evening crying.
And this thing brought up a lot of issues I haven’t actually addressed. One in particular is, well, I hate public school. Okay not completely hate. Allow me to explain.
My self image is god awful. I hate everything about me. There. I said it. But this causes me to feel very uncomfortable in school. I feel very alone and isolated but at the same time I feel like everybody is staring at me. It makes my anxiety skyrocket.
I would much rather be home schooled, something I didn’t figure out until recently.
So, in between periods of sobbing, today I told my mom that I didn’t want to go to school anymore and asked if I could just be home schooled. She said she’s “too dumb to home school me”. I told her there are online schools.
My mother’s response to this was that I wouldn’t have any friends. I thought, sure I would, my current school friends would never abandon me at the drop of a hat like that. She said humans need to be social. It’s not like I am going in my room and locking the door until I graduate high school.
I did a bunch of research and actually spent about 2 hours on one schools website. Personally, and I’m not saying this because I just want to stay home all day, I feel like I would be better off home schooled. It would be so much less stressful for me and I think it would help my anxiety, etc.
But my parents would never agree to it so I am stuck in the public school system that makes me so uncomfortable daily.
See ya soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!