I KNOW What I Need

11/28/16

Hey guys, welcome back. So it’s currently 7:55 AM and I should be getting ready for school but I haven’t even eaten breakfast yet. I can’t. I absolutely cannot bring myself to leave the house.

My mind is just too crazy right now and the thought of going anywhere is bringing me close to a panic attack.

My parents keep telling me they’ll drive me into school a little late and it’ll be okay. “You have to try” but I know for a fact that that won’t make things better. If anything all that would do is cause me to embarrassingly have a panic attack in the middle of class.

need to stay home today. I would never be able to learn if my mind was like this. I know because I’ve tried to go to school like this a hundred times and it always ends the same. With me in the nurse’s office in tears before lunch.

My parents keep trying to convince me that I’ll feel better after school but school is the worst thing for me right now.

I don’t know what to do. I need a day to sort out my mind but my parents aren’t willing to give me that.

See ya soon!!!

-Dani

(^^)/

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Where I Went

11/27/16

Hey guys, welcome back. So this’ll be kind of a short post because it’s really late and I need to go to bed

I haven’t posted for a few days and my little break happened quite abruptly. I have you no warning because I didn’t know I was going to take a break.

Theres no excuse. I just haven’t posted.

Today has been awful. I’ve been sobbing the whole day and it’s just been a situation very similar to one I was in about a month and a half ago which you can see in this post.

Its still school, it’s still terrible, but I’ll spare you because I’ve already talked about the things about school that bother me.

I’m going to get back into it starting tomorrow. Lyss will be back soon

See ya soon!!!

-Dani

(^^)/

I Don’t Know If I’ve Ever Been This Tired

11/23/16

Hey guys, welcome back. Something I haven’t really touched on in a bit is how I’m feeling about the loss of my pet, Crystal. I talked about it the day it happened and the day after but if I’m honest I’ve been completely thrown off my tracks.

For the remainder of last week after she died I felt myself almost crying in several classes. A lot of my teachers give us too much time to complete assignments and if I finish to quickly I have ten minutes alon with my thoughts.

That idea scared me last week.

I was worried that I would start crying in the middle of math class and embarss myself. Luckily that didn’t happen but it still drove me crazy. I didn’t want to think of her because I knew if I did ther was a good chance I’d cry.

Since she passed, I’ve kinda let everything go. I’ve been doing homework way too late at night, I haven’t slept enough, exercised, I’ve ate absolute crap.

I’m physically exhausted. Not a day has gone by where I don’t feel sad. Everytije I have to feed the other guinea pigs, I’m reminded that there’s one missing, and I’ll never get her back.

Im just so tired.

See ya soon!!!

-Dani

(^^)/

Life Update

11/22/16

I haven’t done this in… a while and for that I apologize, It’s Lyss and I am overwhelmed to the limit.

School- tests, projects, annoying teachers, the play I’m in and so much reading. I have to study every night like no one’s business and legit I need to balance all my classes

Friends- I am trying to be witty, and have good comebacks but it’s hard when I have so much stress being taken over on me and I take it out on people sometimes and I feel like the biggest asshole ever

Family- I feel like I’ve been to isolated from my family lately because I’ve been too obsessed with trying to make it right with my friends by being “funny” on facetime and stuff, and my family legit thinks I am a hermit

“Lovelife”- So um this guy who claims he doesn’t have a crush on me, M A, who I went away with to Quebec and you’ll all get the whole story but basically he was ALMOST my first kiss, and he has been flirting with me for the past week or so and giving me compliments. I am so stressed with trying to tone that down and sort my feelings and it’s been crazy

Myself- I have been so stressed lately but I haven’t been getting much sleep, or anything and I procrastinate which makes things worse and then I throw myself a pity party and drag everyone down with me and I’m just tired of it..

Starting tomorrow I blog everyday(no joke), I sort my feelings and tone that kid down 10 notches, I am gonna be salty-free starting tomorrow, eat healthy, catch up on sleep, make amends with my family and start being myself again.

Because lately I’ve felt as if I have become someone else..

Thank you all for being so understanding and I apologize for the rant I had to get it out.

-Lyss ❤

I Finally Got An iPhone

11/21/16

Hey guys, welcome back. So today I finally got an iPhone! Yay!!!

Im just happy because now I don’t have to be embarrassed to take my phone out to text someone. I had a phone before but it was a really old style with that sliding keyboard thing.

Now, don’t get me wrong I was super grateful to have it but you know, I’m a spoiled brat so it could’ve been better.

As an early birthday present my mom got me a phone. Which also means I can have social media now but I don’t know if I’ll tell you guys about that yet. We’ll see.

My phone is currently the iPhone 7 in rose gold but my mom kinda messed up and got my 128 GB which is quite unessecary. Besides I’d prefer the 6s anyway so tomorrow we’re going to exchange it.

I do have somewhere to be immediately after school so that means my mom is going to pick me up early and I can miss gym.

Lyss and I don’t have school Thursday and Friday because of thanksgiving break and I believe Lyss will be posting then. (If I have anything to say about it. Jk, jk.) she really does want to get back into the swing of things but she got the worst teachers this year so she is up till 10:30 just doing homework every night. Please be patient with her.

See ya soon!!!

-Dani

(^^)/

The Pressure To “Glow” Up

11/20/16

Hey guys, welcome back. SHHH! It most definitely is not 12:45 AM on a Sunday night as I write this. PFFFTTT, who do you think I am? Now quiet before you wake my parents….

Recently I’ve noticed that my friends are quite obsessed with this phenomenon known as “The ‘Glow’ Up”. And through my extensive scientific research ( AKA creepily intently listening in on all their conversations), I’ve come to the conclusion that the “glow” up is something that occurs between middle and high school where everyone gets super good-looking.

Now, before late last year I had never even heard of this and that’s probably because none of the guys in my school are all that good-looking to begin with. I mean, yeah sure, there are a few that all the girls go crazy for but I don’t know, I guess even if they are okay looking I know they’re all mostly jerks anyway.

However, now that I know about this, I’ve started to wonder.

That’s a lot of pressure to put on a person. I can’t just leave all the work to puberty and hope for the best. NO! That’s not how this works. I have to start putting effort into my appearance? Is that what your telling me. Hair and makeup? What do you mean?! Ponytail and clean face for life!

But if I don’t do anything and every other girl gets super pretty over the summer, than I’m just gonna be way uglier by comparison! So this isn’t really a fair system now is it.

Ugh, I guess I could start small. You know just let my hair down once in a while and put on some mascara. Maybe not where sweatshirts 24/7. But overall, I’m pretty okay with my appearance. I honestly don’t care enough to put the extra effort in that other girls do. I know some girls who spend an hour getting ready for school. I spend literally 20 minutes getting ready which I’m okay with, I like the extra sleep thank you.

Do you have any experience with “The ‘Glow’ Up”? Is it real? Will everyone in my high school be really good looking all of a sudden or will we all still be potatoes? My guess is the second one.

See ya soon!!!

-Dani

(^^)/

My Ramblings Of Gym Class

11/18/16

Hey guys, welcome back. So I hate gym. That’s a standard thing, something I’ve mentioned before. But this year is especially bad.

Im pretty sure I have the worst class in he entire school. Take a moment, you know all those super popular jerks in your school? You know how they all seem to be best friends and they act insane? Now put all of them into one room, add 30 girls, picture them all in uniforms playing sports. That’s my gym class.

I can’t deal with it. They are all so annoying and they think that they can just do whatever they want. For most sports we meet for attendance and then girls and boys split. But we’re playing volleyball and for whatever reason, they don’t split us for that.

Personally I think co-Ed gym in extremely unfair. Especially once there are teenagers involved. The boys play way too rough and the amount of girls who have gotten hurt during games with the boys is through the roof.

Just today my group’s volleyball rolled kinda far away so I went to go get it. I picked it up and then BAM! Someone’s ball hit me in the back of the head. For a second my eyes go black and I feel dizzy but luckily I don’t pass out. I turned around to see a group red-faced, giggling nervously, and looking in my direction.

I’m okay now but the whole situation just makes all of us girls so uncomfortable. During swimming, arguably the worst unit, we were all happy because we weren’t with the boys. The boys don’t really talk to me which I am so grateful for, but they torment the girls around me like there’s no tomorrow.

What are your thoughts on gym class? Does your school do co-Ed gym?

See ya soon!!!

-Dani

(^^)/

It’s Okay To Be Sad

11/17/16

Hey guys, welcome back. I’ve still not recovered from yesterday. I don’t think I will really recover for quite some time. At first I was angry for being sad. For dwelling on Crystal’s death instead of celebrating her life.

We buried her in the backyard at the edge of the woods that surrounds our neighborhood. Next to a tree where my brother’s hamsters and a couple of our favorite fish are burned as well. I held the box while my mom dug and that’s when I realized it was okay to be sad about it.

My beautiful pet is gone. I’ll never see her put her nose in the air and sniff again, I’ll never hear her squeak again, never see her eyes or gorgeous fur pattern again. I had to place her in a hole, cover her with dirt, and walk away.

My heart is truly broken. Every time I walk into my room I can feel it in the air that something is missing.

In time, I know I will not be as sad. Sure there will be times when I can’t take it and just kind of collapse in on myself in despair, the same way I sometimes do when thinking of my old dog or my grandfather. But, I will be okay. One day I won’t be sad anymore and I’ll be able to look back at the good moments. For right now however, I think it’s important that I let myself grieve.

See ya soon

-Dani

(^^)/

A Tribute To My Pet, Crystal

11/16/16

hey guys, welcome back. I’m going to start by apologizing for yesterday, I’ve just been so tired. But today, my dear guinea pig Crystal passed away.

She was quite old, over 6 years to be exact. She had some respiratory problems for a few months as well so I did suspect that she was reaching  the end. I found her tonight after I had gotten into pajamas. She was in the back of the cage, under the platform I have in there, which was unusual considering she was very brave and would usually come to the front of the cage when I was in the room.

When I opened the cage door she still didn’t move and at that point I knew she was gone. When we took her out she was cold and curled into a little ball. Her eyes were closed and she looked peaceful so I hope she was sleeping when she passed.

The only thing that worries me now is the guinea pig who she shared a cage with. Guinea pigs are social animals and tend to get quite sad when they’re alone. I don’t want her to be sad. I took her out of the cage and held her for a long time. Talking to her softly and petting her. I think I’ll do that most days and maybe once a week I’ll let her and the boys from the other cage socialize for a bit.

Crystal lived a pretty long, happy, healthy life. She was a mother to two boys who took right after her, being adventurous, brave, and very loving. She and her best friend/roommate led me to a close friendship with a girl I otherwise never would have spoken to. She knew how loved she was.

She’ll be deeply missed but at the same time, I’m happy she is no longer living with her respiratory issues.  I’m happy she is no longer sick.  I’m trying not to be too sad because she lived such a great life and she would want me to be happy, she always was, right till the very end.

❤️❤️❤️

See ya soon

-Dani

(^^)/

Back Home

11/14/16

Hey guys, welcome back. So it feels like forever since I’ve written a post but it’s only been three days. My last few were scheduled because I was away over the weekend which we’ll get to in a bit. But I did manage to keep up with all the lovely posts in our reader thanks to the dining hall actually having decent wifi.

My trip was great actually. I had a lot of fun and actually wasn’t as emotionally drained as I thought I’d be. I did manage to find enough alone time to recharge each day so that was really nice.

We did plenty of activities including a hike, zip-line, the “glider” where they put you in a harness attached to two cables and the drop you from like 20 feet up so you swing between two trees, as well as arts and crafts and an obstacle course.

I took a couple pictures but not too many as it was a very distinct place and I wouldn’t want to give away my location or anything like that. Hopefully I can show you the few “artsy” pictures I took tomorrow.

Other than that this week I am planning on helping Lyss get back into the whole blogging thing. She has felt so bad about not posting and then she went on a trip as well which I’ll let her tell you about.

Last week our first marking period ended at school which is crazy to me. Our grades are being posted online by Friday and I’m kind of anxious to see them. A lot of my teachers don’t often post grades so I’m never positive on how I did on something which, yes, is annoying but I manage. I know I didn’t do too well in tech but I largely blame the teacher for that. (This is a story for another time)

Woah, this is already getting a bit long. I think I’m going to cut it off here. Sorry for it being a bit boring I am so tired from this weekend and it’s pretty late so I’m going to head to bed. Thanks for reading.

See ya soon!!!

-Dani

(^^)/