I’m Not There


Hey guys, welcome back. So as expected, my conselour had me try and go to a couple classes today. I made it to two, social studies and math. They went okay but I really didn’t feel completely there

I just felt like it wasn’t actually happening. I was focused but I was missing pieces of information. In social studies, I could not, for the life of me, figure out how we got to this point in history. After missing a few days of class all I’ve been able to do is get the vocabulary terms from online that were covered and since history is just one long story, I’m missing a huge chunk of it. As in, the entire Spanish-American war.

So oh well. As time passes I’ll feel like a member of class again instead of just a ghost that comes and goes.

Another weird thing that happened today was that I had a nightmare. I never have nightmares and this one happened during a nap. I also never take naps.

I fell asleep and started dreaming and in my dream I got a text to a group chat that was a picture of a hospital room. It said that one of our friends had gotten sick and was in critical condition at the local hospital. Just moments later a second message came through that said she had passed away.

I can lucid dream if you don’t know which basically means that I realize I’m dreaming and I can control what happens in the dream. But for this one, it took me until the end of the dream to realize that it wasn’t real. It all just felt so incredibly real. I felt my stomach drop when I read that text. I could almost feel the tears coming down my cheeks. I could hear the voice of the girl’s mother on the phone as she spoke with my mom. I only realized it was a dream when nobody else in my family seemed to be mourning. I’m quite close with this girl and my family knows her very well so when they weren’t the slightest bit upset, I knew it wasn’t real.

This dream messed me up so bad that I didn’t feel completely okay until I got her snapchat saying goodnight.

I don’t know what’s going on with me. All I know for sure is that I still don’t feel 100% okay. I will eventually but for right now I just don’t

See ya soon!!!




Author: lyssndani

hey welcome to our blog! We are formally known as Alyssa and Danielle but on here you can call u Lyss and Dani. We usually blog when we can and when we do it’s usually some bullshit. But it’s our bullshit that we would love to share with you, welcome to the club!!

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