Hey guys, welcome back. I’m not going to apologize for these rant-like posts, even if I feel like I’m bringing people down by writing them. It’s really very therapeutic for me to write out my feelings during a hard time like this. And if this hard time HAS to be riht before Christmas, I’m still going to write about it.
Back to the point about feeling like I’m bringing people down. I just feel like I come across as a very sad, unhappy person lately and I’m making my friends concerned. I don’t want people worrying about me, especially not this time of year.
I don’t want to be the person bringing everyone else down.
I try my best to put on a brace face in the halls and during lunch but I’m so scared of school right now.
My conselours job is to push me and get me to class but I’m just not convinced I can handle everything yet. Tomorrow is going to be so hard and she really wants me to get through whole days this week. I’m just not sure I’m ready for that. My mental state is still all out of whack and I feel kind of crazy.
I just sometimes think that maybe it’s not even real and I’ve made it all up. Maybe I just sub-consciously want attention. Cause my parents seem to think that I can just stop crying and calm down and go to class. So maybe it isn’t real.
I don’t know what to think anymore.
See ya soon!!!