Hey guys, welcome back. Today, my parents wanted to wake me and my brothers up early so we could go to an arcade. Last night, I couldn’t sleep and was up until 4:45 desperately trying to get some rest. And as you can imagine, I had trouble getting up.
My parents wanted everybody up by 9 and out of the house by 11. I got up at ten and didn’t even sit up before anxiety completely took over.
I started absolutely freaking out. Crying, shaking, everything felt so overwhelming. And it was all because I realized that it’s Christmas break, the arcade was offering a deal today where everything was half price, and that meant it would be filled with people.
The thought of such a crowded room with nowhere to escape to calm myself down if I needed it was way too much to handle.
My mom assured me that she wouldn’t leave my side the whole time and we could take two cars in case I wanted to leave early. I got dressed reluctantly because I didn’t want my brothers to be mad at me.
I left my room only to find out that one brother didn’t feel well, the other was still showering, my dad hadn’t gotten out of his pajamas and my mom had given up and decided we wouldn’t go.
I started crying all over again, which really confused my mom because she thought I didn’t want to go. I didn’t. I was crying because I had forced myself to get dressed and push myself way too far for nothing. I had worried for nothing. And I thought it was my fault and my brothers would be unhappy.
So yeah that happened. I feel like talking about my anxiety so much seems like I’m looking for attention and if it’s coming across that way I really do apologize. This is just what’s happening in my life right now and this blog is the best form of therapy I could ask for.
See ya soon!!!