Hey guys, welcome back. Today I didn’t go to school because I had two doctors appointments. More doctors, more people trying to figure out what’s wrong.
I guess I should update you on the list of people who are now trying to help me: school conselour, school social worker, basically any school official in the office, 8th grade nurse, one of the Italian teachers who used to be my neighbor who is now my mentor (more on that soon), pediatrician, therapist, endocrinologist, psychiatrist (don’t know if I mentioned it but I’m on anxiety medication), my parents (obviously), and the newest addition, a neurologist/ PANDAS specialist.
Wow, I didn’t realize how many people there were. I don’t even mention my close friends and you guys for that matter…
Anyway, about that neourologist. He’s also a PANDAS specialist (no not pandas 🐼). I highly doubt anyone reading has even heard of PANDAS as it is rare and very complicated. From my very basic knowledge I can tell you that it presents itself with other illnesses that can cause fevers, strep throat is the most common. In some instances, a person will get some kind of illness that causes a fever but instead of reacting in the typical way, the brain becomes inflamed and the patient has a behavioral change. Usually this change manifests in OCD or tics. If you want a deeper understanding I’m sure you can read about it online. My mom did tons of research on it.
I never had any fever causing illness but around the time this started, my brother was diagnosed with strep and mano, both of which went undiagnosed for over a week . Since these were both in the house, its possible that I actually did have one if not both of these but had no symptoms.
I had a two hour consultation with the neourologist today and he said he’d be very surprised if I don’t have PANDAS. He wrote a prescription for a lot of blood tests, 50 to be exact. He wants to be sure he doesn’t miss anything. Obviously there’s a lot of blood required for these test so I’m not going to do it all in one day. It’ll probably take 3-4 appointments to get everything done.
A part of me actually kind of hopes I do have PANDAS. Don’t worry I’m not a phsycopath. Part of me just wants something that’s easy to fix, it only takes antibiotics to cure PANDAS. I want to be in school and be normal. I don’t want to have to have “modified education”.
After that, I saw my psychiatrist. She is lovely and has been so helpful. She has me on and anxiety medication and just today prescribed something to help me if I’m having a panic attack. She is also collaborating with a woman who I believe works in one of the nearby mental health facilities. They’re working on a group made up of teenagers with similar conditions. If all goes well it’ll be about 6-8 of us for 6 sessions, once a week. I want to meet other kids who understand what it’s like. I want to know that there are people nearby who understand.
Dont get me wrong this blog is great and there are plenty of people who know exactly what I’m talking about when I do talk about it but you’re all far away. I need to physically see the face of a teenager who gets it.
So yeah that’s a lot off my chest. I’m trying so hard to get up to date in all my classes but it’s been very hard to focus. I have 7 days left to make up all the work I’ve missed. Wish me luck.
See ya soon!!!