Moving Back Into My Room

3/12/17

Hey guys, welcome back. This title may seem a bit strange but give me a second to explain.

Basically, ever since I painted my room about… oh gosh how long has it been? *looks back through old blog posts*A MONTH AGO?!?! How is that possible? Jeez, time goes by fast as you get older. Anyway since I painted and took everything off the walls, all my possessions have been in boxes.

It looked like I had just moved in.

And  honestly, I think it’s really effected me. Having my room such a mess made me feel pretty stressed. So today I spent my time organizing a bit. I didn’t do as much as I wanted to but I’ve started hanging things on the walls again, I made my bed, and I put one of my dressers back in order.

Even though I still have a lot to do, the atmosphere feels more relaxed now. I’m a huge believer in the idea that our environments effect our moods and I feel more at ease now.

The last couple of days I’ve been angry and irritable for no reason and I was so tense all the time. But I actually felt myself relax as I cleaned up.

Yesterday, I finally told my friends about my PANS and everyone was so supportive. It was such a relief to hear them say that if I needed anything I could reach out to them at any time. I’ve really needed them in the last few months and I haven’t let them be there for me because I didn’t want to make them worry. However, no amount of doctors or mom hugs could compare to having my friends as a support system.

Also today I posted my first selfie on Instagram and I was so nervous to do it. (It was a black and white photo that I took on snapchat with the dog filter just in case you’re wondering) I’ve sent selfies for my snapchat streaks before but I think I felt more at ease knowing that the person on the recieving end could only see it for a few seconds before it was gone forever.

With instagram though, the photos don’t dissapear in seconds. I spent an embarrassing amount of time trying to find song lyrics to use as my caption. When I did post it, I freaked out a little cause I was like “oh crap, now I’m up for judgement.” I almost deleted it. But I left it up and within the first half hour I had 8 likes which is a lot for me okay? I only have *cough* 30 *cough” followers. (Can you tell I’m popular at school?) I got so many comments telling me how good I looked and a lot of heart-eyes emojis. So that made me feel good.

Anyway that’s about it. Tomorrow I have my first session with my science/math tutor and I already know her so I’m not worried about that but I’m scared that I’ll shut down again the way I did with English.

See ya soon!!!

-Dani

(^^)/

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Author: lyssndani

hey welcome to our blog! We are formally known as Alyssa and Danielle but on here you can call u Lyss and Dani. We usually blog when we can and when we do it’s usually some bullshit. But it’s our bullshit that we would love to share with you, welcome to the club!!

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