It has really been forever


So it’s has been forever and I mean forever and I am going to take this brief time to say how happy I am to be writing this, my god I have had this guilt hanging over me that I wasn’t blogging and that is because and I’m not exaggerating here I have stress on top of stress on top of homework on top of stress and I am going to bed at 12 waking up at 6 to finish my homework it really is a lot so bear with me here. 

And I have some big news! Veterans weekend I am going to Canada! Eh? Was that offensive? Sorry if it was whoops, but for real I am going to Quebec City on a French trip in November! I am super duper excited for the early Christmas shopping I am going to do and the heavy sweaters I’m gonna wear. Anyways I’m still shocked my parents even agreed it mind blowing actually we will be taking a bus to Quebec and I’m super pumped!

Also I have been spending the last few days in my French classroom helping paint and i actually love my French teacher she’s so amazing and nice and she gives us candy! 

On a sour note I have gotten essays every night from one class! And I have notes on over 70 pages in a textbook on top of it.. yay?

I have a 4 day weekend so god bless that I needed it and expect blogs in the near future, thank you for being patient guys 🙂



The Two Sides of My Mind


I feel as if there are two sides in my mind

Two sides, constantly at war.

One of the sides yells at me to get a grip, pull myself together

The other screams that I am stupid and ugly

That I am a failure


The second side forever causing me to panic

Causing me to sit awake at 2 AM wondering what’s wrong with me

Causing me to shake

Causing my vision to go blurry and my heart to race

Telling me I’m dying


And yet, somewhere in my mind

Among these warring sides

Is a group that protests

A group that hates this civil war

And wants more than anything for it to end



See ya soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Is It Really THAT Gross?


Hey guys welcome back. So today was kind of eventful. Before school I had to get a blood test done and I was freaking out over possibly being late (I wasn’t thank the lord). But if you remember 2 weeks ago I went to a doctor for some other stuff and she sent me for more blood work.

I was fine after. I’m pretty good with needles to begin with so I was okay. I made it to first period with a couple minutes to spare and all was well.

Nothing about this morning even crossed my mind until lunch.

I got to lunch late because I had to make up a math quiz first but the band-aid on my arm was so annoying I had to take it off. So I sat at the table and started pulling off the band-aid. Then my friends started shrieking about how gross it was.

And even though it’s such a small thing, it really bothered me.

I know they didn’t mean to offend me but they did. This is something I have spent so much time thinking about. Going over lists of conditions I could have. Conditions that’d keep me on countless pills for the rest of my life. This blood test is literally going to set the guidelines for the rest of my life. And even though my friends didn’t know much about it, I couldn’t help but feel hurt.

When I was explaining why I had to get blood taken to one friend, I felt almost as if I was looking for pity. I thought that she might feel like I wanted sympathy. I couldn’t help but feel bad.

Now, the mark left behind from the needle is just a bruise but I keep thinking, Is it really THAT gross? And I can’t answer that on my own.

Thank you for reading my little rant of the day

See ya soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



A Slight Dilemma


Hey guys welcome back. So I know I already posted but I really need some advice. If you remember, a couple weeks ago, I was writing a letter to my English teacher as part of a “Get to know me” assignment. And in that letter, I mentioned The Underground

I got the letter back today and I did well on it, but one comment she wrote stuck out to me. Next to the paragraph about The Underground, she literally asked if I posted it anywhere because she’d love to read it.


My heart stopped when I read that. Oh. My. Gosh. HOW DID SHE DO THAT?!?!?! It’s like she read my mind or something. Good lord.

Obviously I’m not going to tell her about the blog, there is way too much personal stuff on here to be shared with a teacher. And I think she’d be very disappointed  in my spelling and grammar.

But she wants to read it. So what do I do, type up the whole story so far and print it out for her? I don’t even think I want to because I’m worried about her sharing it with the class. Or all her classes. Oh god….

This probably isn’t anywhere near as big an issue as I’m making it out to be but whatever. Thanks for reading whatever that was and if you do have advice, please let me know.

See ya soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



The Underground Pt. 6


Hey guys welcome back. So today I am finally back with part 6 of The Underground!!! I know it’s been forever but you don’t have to wait any longer. If you did miss the last part you can check that out by clicking here

I take Ambrosia’s hands off my shoulders and stand abruptly.

“This is all moving way too fast. I think I should get going. I really did enjoy what we did today but I think that’s enough for now.” I say as I walk out. I turn into the hall but Ambrosia grabs my wrist. I turn to see her eyes wide with fear.

“You must come back. Soon. I hope you weren’t planning on leaving this place behind forever. Because trust me, now that you know everything you are in danger. Please promise you’ll come back.”

I nod a bit confused, but I must be convincing enough because Ambrosia lets go of my wrist. I can feel her watching me as I walk down the large hall and out the door.

Before I even make it to the house, I realize I don’t know how I’m supposed to get in. There isn’t a front door and I didn’t check the way I left to see if I could get back in. But much to my relief, because it’s magical, the door opens for me.

Benson is laying down in the front room, just where I left him. I grab his collar and we walk back to the picture that brought us here. And before I know it I’m home. We walk into the back door just as my sister walks into the front.

“What were you doing out there?” she asks. This is the way it’s always been between us, no hellos or goodbyes. Our relationship isn’t very sister like. But because she’s older, I never complained.

“Benson had to go out” I say even though it seems obvious.

“He can go by himself.”

“Whatever. I have homework to do.”

“It’s Friday” she calls after me as I grab my bag and march up the stairs.

“I don’t care” I yell back.

Once I get to my room I lock the door and lay on my bed. Attempting, and failing, to process what just happened.

Autumn, I think, you have never believed in magic. It doesn’t exist. That’s that. 

But how can I deny something I saw with my own eyes.

Okay guys that’s it for today. Thanks for reading and have a great rest of your day or night.

See ya soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



It’s Okay To Not Do Everything


Hey guys welcome back. Please excuse my absence for the past couple days, I was still recovering from my little stomach bug. The nausea was coming in waves so one minute I’d be fine and the next I felt like the slightest movement would make me puke. I am going back to school tomorrow after 2 1/2 days off and, thankfully, I am not super nervous. I do have  things to make up but I’ll be back on track by the end of the week.

While I was sick, I kind of fell out of my normally super productive routine (a term I use loosely). I wasn’t working out, making my bed or anything. I did my homework Wednesday  because I had planned on going back to school. But other than that, I had a lot that I needed to do.

And of course, I left it all for today. You see, my parents have this “no electronics until after dark” rule that they never enforce. They try their best to make it a thing on weekends and school breaks but we all know it rarely works out.

Last night, they decided they wanted to enforce it today. So I thought I’d save my work for today. So, at 1 in the afternoon, I got to work. I actually managed to finish all my homework by 2 and clean my guinea pig cages by 3. Then, I showered and read my book for 2 hours straight to make up for my lack of reading during the week.

Before I knew it, it was 6 PM and I was eating dinner. My plan was to catch up on at least one day of posts from our reader because I was a week behind. But, because I tend to be an overachiever, I read them all. Yup, I spent an hour and a half reading blog posts. I’m not mad at that.

But I was supposed to write part 6 of The Underground and guess what didn’t happen…

What I do have to realize though is that it is okay not to get to everything on my list. I need to take a deep breath and relax because I did do a lot today. Tomorrow, I have nothing I absolutely have to do so I can write it then. If I have time I might write more than one part just to save myself from the stress later.

That’s all I have for right now. I am very excited to be back because I did miss blogging. Thanks so much for reading and have a great rest of your day or night.

See ya soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Everything Waits Until Friday


Hey guys welcome back. So today I had 2 different posts mind that I could have wrote but then, something happened.

In third period, I started to feel a sharp pain in my stomach along with extreme nausea. I thought maybe I was just hungry and needed to eat so I ate at lunch and the pain went away. I thought I was okay to continue with the day. But then I got up to talk to Jazzy and felt so sick that I almost had to sit back down.

I went to the nurses office and she sent me home. I got home and fell asleep on the couch for like 2 hours. I actually was supposed to go to piano but cancelled last minute. I did feel better throughout the day so I am going tomorrow.

Anyway other than that, I am falling behind on stuff. Stuff like reading the posts in our reader and TV and guinea pig stuff. I know it’s not important and people have way bigger problems but I’m just going to complain about my first world problems.

But yeah. All that stuff is going to wait until Friday. When I have time to catch up and relax. Thanks for reading whatever that was.

See ya soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!