Healing

12/8/18

First, I’ll address the glaringly obvious: two posts in one day? Don’t worry, you haven’t fallen through a wormhole to December 2015, this is happening.

*hold for laughter at my comedic genius*

The events leading up to this post are a bit odd, but they’ve made me think regardless.

A few weeks ago, I made the (horrible) decision to shave my legs despite already having razor burn from the previous time I’d shaved. So, as you can probably imagine, this made things immensely worse. And even though my legs have been itchy and red and uncomfortable, I’ve kept up with my shaving routine.

Bad idea I’m aware.

Last night, I was brushing my teeth when my mom came into the bathroom, sat on the edge of the tub, and began applying Vaseline to her feet. Now, it’s winter in the US and my poor mom is so sensitive to the cold, dry weather that her feet get dry and crack. She’s usually in quite a bit of pain this time of year.

I asked her how long she’d been having to do that, and she said, “A few days. I probably should have started doing it earlier.”

This got me thinking. Despite both of us knowing what to do to heal our bodies, neither of us did anything until we absolutely couldn’t take it.

For me, this sort of think happens a lot. Often, I’ll know the exact steps I have to take in order to feel better about something, but I just won’t until I don’t have another option.

Call it laziness, procrastination, or a side effect of depression, but it happens so much.

As of now, my room is a mess, I have homework to do, etc. and although it’s stressful, I have no will to make anything change.

Or at least I didn’t until about a half hour ago.

I was having my usual 45-minute shower concert/daydream/overthinking session and my mind drifted here. To this. I am capable of changing these things and making myself feel better. So what’s stopping me?

The answer is still unclear, and I think it’s different for everyone. But I’m going to change this. I paused to write this but as soon as I press “publish”, I’ll be on my way to cleaning my room, doing my homework, and planning/making my holiday gifts for friends and family.

I used to put such an effort into being productive and always doing something to better myself and life. I’m not really sure where that person went, but I’d like it if she came back and stayed a while for some much needed healing.

See ya soon!!!

-Dani

(^^)/

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Taking Steps

12/2/18

I have no plan for this post. Not a clue where it’s going. But I have thoughts I’d like to share.

First of all, I turn 16 on Wednesday! That’s absolutely insane to me. You guys have literally watched me grow up. And your continued support is incredible. I’m going to be able to drive! (pray for me)

But, even among the happiness, I can’t help but feel a bit sad. This time last year, I didn’t know it, but I was on my way to a really, prolonged, dark time. And this year, thankfully, things are totally different. I’ve cut off toxic people and pushed myself into beginning to actually recover from my mental illnesses.

It’s hard to think of growing up without some people. But I know that they’d be proud of me. I also know that they’d be able to provide a whole lot of wisdom right now, and I could use it.

I’ve touched on it before, but recovery is scary. I’m starting to experience emotions that have either been lying dormant for a long time, or I’m experiencing things in full for the first time.

Most of these emotions are positive, I’m not really sure what to call them though. Regardless, it’s scary. I’m afraid to let go and allow myself to truly immerse myself in positive things because part of me is worried that it won’t last.

Something else I’ve been working a lot on is boundaries. Re-establishing healthy ones after lines got blurred is important, but difficult. It’s a necessary step to take before other parts of recovery, but I wish I could skip it and throw myself into new, normal teenage years.

I’ve had to come to terms with the fact that, try as I might, I can’t be a normal teen. I have to work a little harder, do things a little differently. Things have to happen at my pace, and that’s okay. I might not love it, but I’m okay with it.

My goal is long-term, sustainable happiness. Which I have to take steps towards. So I start here.

Also, Happy Hanukkah if you celebrate! Hope you spend it well. I’m off to my grandmas now to celebrate with my family. Thank you so much for reading.

See ya soon!!!

-Dani

(^^)/

Blogmas Day 25!!

Today’s blogmas is different.

It’s not a tip but a wish to all of you guys-

When me and Dani started the blog we were completely amateur, which is still probably true with no followers what so ever. The blog wasn’t even  real writing just little blurbs in hope’s we got views. Since it is developed to all of this I wanted to say thank you

Thank you all for taking the time to read our work

thank you for being our friends

Thank you for being there for us

Thank you for understanding our problems

Thank you for being always available to listen

And most of all..

Thanks for being you~

You are not our followers but our friends.

Me and Dani love every last one of you to death and just keep it up.

Here’s to the last blogmas of 2015!!!!

-Liss ❤

Blogmas day 22

hey guys today’s blogmas is some life hacks… Again

-instead of decorating your entire room for Christmas take some throw pillows, blankets and a mini tree

-want rosy cheeks without blush? Go outside or pinch your cheeks!

-wanna decorate the tree quick? Throw some tinsel on it with a star.

-are you THE house on the street that doesn’t decorate? Just throw up a wreath and some cute Diy signs that say, santa’s this way! Etc.

Sorry this was short!

-Liss